1983 to 1986
by prairiecitygirl
Summary: 1983 to 1986 from Ennis' POV, after Ennis and Jack's last conversation. AU.


**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Okay, I've never written anything before...I'm no English major, so don't expect a great literary work. (In high school my essays always had "expand more on topic" for each bloody paragraph...) You get what you pay for...

This is AU - I'm placing it just after Ennis and Jack's last conversation. I'm basing this more on the movie than the short story -- their meeting was in the spring of 1983 in the short story -- I'm assuming Alma Jr's wedding was that year. All movie dialogue courtesy of my decrepit memory. And yes, the first paragraph (and the shirt one) is "heavily borrowed" from the short story, no infringement intended.

**DISCLAIMER:** this is my tweak/continuation of Annie Proulx's short story and Ang Lee's brilliant interpretation of "Brokeback Mountain". These characters aren't mine. They appear to be homesteading in my brain. Hoping they'll let me be if I write this down.

**SUMMARY:** 1983 to 1986 from Ennis' POV, after Ennis and Jack's last conversation. AU.

* * *

**"1983 to 1986"** by Yet Another Anonymous 

Ennis didn't know about Jack's plans until his postcard to Jack saying that November still looked like the first chance came back stamped _"NO FORWARDING ADDRESS - RETURN TO SENDER."_ He called Jack's number in Childress, something he had done only once before, when Alma divorced him, and Jack had misunderstood the reason for the call, had driven twelve hundred miles north for nothing. Lureen answered and she said who? who is this? and when he told her again she said in a low level voice Jack started divorce papers that spring, rumours flew about him and a buddy moving to Mexico, guess it wasn't you, and wanted nothing to do with the SOB.

Ennis stood in the phone booth a long time after she hung up. Felt punched in the gut - Jack had given up on him. He was alone, again. For good, it seemed.

* * *

Later that week found Ennis in the bus stop, playing with a piece of apple pie. His boss had threatened to fire him - first taking a week off that spring when he was needed, now lost in his mind this week. Ennis couldn't stop thinking about Jack - about what they had, what Jack said they could have had. He kept telling himself they would be dead if they ranched up after Alma's divorce...but what about now? Naw, we still would be dead...wouldn't we...? 

Looking for answers in his coffee mug, he missed seeing Cassie came in with Carl. Maybe Jack was right in making a change...maybe it's time to face a few truths. As Cassie started to question him, he realized there was no point in leading her on anymore. There was no future in it. "I wasn't a lot of fun anyways."

"A girl doesn't fall in love with fun, Ennis" she replied with tears, and stormed out of his life.

* * *

A month later, Alma Jr drove out to his trailer home. Didn't recognize her in the new sports car. Once inside, she chided him for his lack of furniture. "When ya don't got nothing, ya don't need nothing." When questioned on the occasion of her visit, she said she was getting married in June to Kurt. Ennis wondered what happened to Troy...when informed that was 2 years ago, he felt stung. Here he was, alone, thinking, almost pining over Jack, yet his flesh and blood had been living life without him. Ennis realized that he had lost Jack, but he wasn't going to make the same mistake with Junior. If she'd have him, that is. 

"This Kurt fellow, does he love you?" Ennis wished he had figured out love when he married Alma.

"Yeah Daddy, he does" she replied with a glow about her. He saw the passion in her eyes - passion he felt, but not with Alma. "I was hoping you'd be there."

"I'm supposed to be working in the Tetons..." he rambled absentmindedly. He looked out the window - couldn't stand to feel the disappointment radiating from her. Time to start those changes, Jack, he thought. If losing you is my wake up call, I'm paying attention now.

"But I figure they can get themselves a new cowboy. My little girl is getting married." She arranged for a time to him to meet Kurt couple of weeks before the wedding. Swore that he'd really like him - after all, her ma and Monroe weren't too thrilled with him, so they'd get along great.

With a glint in his eye, Ennis informed her "Father's don't like their baby's beaus". He broke into a slight grin at her expression, and got swatted for it. They spoke for awhile - laying a new foundation, learning each other. As she chatted about her sister, Ennis sent a pray of thanks up to heaven for Junior's acceptance of his life.

After she drove off, Ennis found her sweater laying haphazard on the bed. Ennis figured he return it, maybe - it was a nice reminder that he wasn't alone. After he tucked it into the closet, he stared at the postcard he had tacked up on the wall. The other week he found the scene of Brokeback in the store after hosing down Coffeepot's blankets. With a tear in his eye, he caressed it gently, fondly remembering those carefree times.

* * *

Turned out Junior was right - he did like Kurt. Found him to be a kindred spirit in lovin' the land, even though he was a roughneck. Kurt didn't particularly fit in with the family, but you could feel the passion he and Junior shared. Alma and Monroe were more taken with Kurt's folks - they had influence in the community, and hoped to upgrade their status - Alma claimed to feel the stigma of the divorce, still after all these years. 

The wedding took place on a clear summer day. Junior had forced Ennis into black jeans and a leather jacket. Said she couldn't stand to see him in a suit - Kurt had smiled, and paid for it without a second thought, while saying "It's her wedding day. She's the boss." Made sure Ennis got a framed picture of the three of them.

Ennis found odd jobs around ranches, but it was gettin' tougher as more people moved to the city. Not a lot of work for an older cowboy. Still felt people's eyes on him in town, wondered if Alma were helping out in rumours.

Ennis knew he'd be alone - but he was gettin' by. He got together with Junior and Kurt frequently - they kept a close eye on him during the days. During the nights, he was visited by Jack in his dreams. Some mornings the pillows were wet; other mornings the sheets. He'd wake up with a sad smile on his face - savoring the good times, yet feeling the loss. And always wonderin', what if?

Just after Junior found she was pregnant - with twins no less! - Kurt's crew had an explosion on the rig. Two died, fortunately not Kurt. Kurt was hurt bad, though - lost a couple of fingers, burned his arm bad, broke his leg, lost sight in his left eye. Took several months before he left the hospital. Ennis found himself helping out Junior and Kurt during this time, and to his surprise, found himself part of a family.

When the company's settlement check came, Kurt and Junior sat Ennis down and told him he was moving to Montana with them. Kurt knew people investing in a wild idea - turning a local ski area into a high class ski resort and spa in the mountains. Idea was for local grown food featured along next to the high end wines. All different sorts of people getting involved - even 2 guys runnin' a California winery together.

They could raise their kids close enough to the city, but in the foothills where Ennis thrived. They wanted Ennis to run the cattle ranch, and wouldn't take no for an answer - Kurt could still throw a good punch after all. Ennis wasn't going to let fear drive him away from people he cared for this time - he couldn't go back in time, but he could take this small risk now.

* * *

That spring, after packing up what little he had, Ennis drove out to Lightning Flat on his way up to Montana. Hoped that Jack still visited his folks so he could leave word. Found out Jack's father had died, and his mother was soon leaving. She was turning the land over to Jack, against her late husband's wishes. He wrote off Jack after the divorce, wanted nothing to do with the "pansy" - she thought it was time for Jack to come home. Maybe he and his friend were going to rip down the house and start over in the fall? 

She said she hadn't the heart to pack up what little was left in Jack's room. She remembered Jack talking about Ennis, asked if he'd mind? Ennis found himself unable to refuse.

There wasn't much left in the room - she said Jack seemed to appreciate that she left it the way it was. In a final check of the closet, Ennis found a tiny jog in the wall - Jack's old shirt from Brokeback days hiding away. The dried blood on the sleeve was theirs mixed, from the wrestling and grappling that last afternoon on the mountain when Jack had slammed Ennis's nose hard with his knee, and Ennis decked him in reply.

The shirt seemed heavy until he saw there was another shirt inside it, the sleeves carefully worked down inside Jack's sleeves. It was his own plaid shirt, lost, he'd thought, stolen by Jack and hidden here inside Jack's own shirt, the pair like two skins, one inside the other, two in one. He pressed his face into the fabric and breathed in slowly through his mouth and nose, overcome by the memory of Brokeback Mountain, of which nothing was left but what he held in his hands.

After a last cup of coffee, he penned a note and left it with Jack's mother. Ennis drove away, with a tear in his eye, a sad smile, and a tangible brown bag filled with memories. "Jack, I swear -"

* * *

_Jack,_

_Tried to drop you a line after our last meetin' - heard ya left. Made me rethink a few things. Quit the job for my junior's wedding that summer._

_Junior's man did good in the oilfield before he got hurt - they bought a place up in Montana to raise their brood. Givin' me a place for Coffeepot if I ranch the land. Jobs gettin' slim around here._

_Stopped by your folks to leave word. Helped yer ma pack up your room, said yer pa would have torched it. Said ya settin' up ranch with a friend. Borrowed yer denim - 20 years too late ----_

_I ---_

_Miss you, cowboy._

_Ennis. 1986_


End file.
